When people have burning questions, where do they turn? 

Do they rush off to the library to find a book or consult their set of encyclopedias? 

They Google. 

*The following questions were used in a search engine & the curious folks who asked them ended up at The Football Wife.*

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How do I get my wife to let me play football?

I’m assuming that if you have to get your wife to agree to it that it’s not a paying gig.  While the hours of an NFL player are not conducive to family life, there’s not a soul on this planet who would turn down the salary.  So, does this mean that you want to play flag football with the boys and a cooler of cold ones while she’s at home with your three children folding your laundry?  If that’s the case, then I ask this… “Have you heard of diamonds?” 

What does it mean if a man says, “I love you like a sister”?

That means, honey, that he’s not going to marry you.  He probably doesn’t even want to date you… unless he’s the kind that dates his sister. 

What can I do to turn my wife on?

Have you considered putting your laundry in the hamper or helping with the dishes?  There’s nothing sexier than seeing a man help with the housework, plus it takes a few things off your wife’s “to-do list” which will give her more time for YOU. 

“Is it helthy to lick my wife’s vulvo.”

If you’d like to know if it’s healthy to lick your wife’s…

Volvo, then I’m concerned that you might have Pica.  Do you often have the urge to eat dirt or lick old chewing gum?  If you meant the “other word” that’s a body part, I hope you cleared the history on your web browser.  

How do I be a football wife?

The wives of coaches throughout the country would agree… you start by being yourself!  After that, you’ll have so much more to offer your community.  Be a gracious hostess, wear your team’s colors, bake amazing cookies, dress your kids in jerseys & cheerleading outfits, & don’t worry if you can’t remember everyone’s name.  We have 100 players & over 200 hundred of their family members hanging out on weekends in the Fall.  Try not to let the sport dominate your life — remember this order:  faith, family, friends, football. 

Who is The Football Wife?

She’s an adventurous daughter, mother, & wife who once wanted to be perfect but now lives happily in controlled chaos.  She loves being creative, going to antique stores, and taking walks with her critters.  She is often conflicted… diet pepsi or diet coke, desktop or laptop, Huggies or Luvs.  Troubling, I know.  Lately, she has been forgoing housework in order to play outside with her slide-obsessed toddler.   

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Have a question for The Football Wife? 

Leave a comment or send an email to wife (at) thefootballwife (dot) com.