My grey hairs

multiplied yesterday. 

It started out like a normal Wednesday with Babycakes waking up before the sun.  Three cups of coffee, a sippy cup of milk, & 15 reads of “It’s Time to Give Up Your Pacifier” later, ‘Cakes was ready for a nap.  She fell asleep quickly and awoke two hours later with a rumbly tummy.  We decided on whole wheat rotini, peas, & “cheeeeese!”.  Just before chow time, George the windshield repairman arrived to fix the MamaMobile.  With George in the driveway and the FurBaby having a conniption fit at the window, we sat down side-by-side to eat our lunch in our controlled chaos. 

My daughter is a good eater, but a pokey eater.  I finished my lunch and like usual, I began to multi-task while she slowly ate her pasta.  Without a warning of “all done”, ‘Cakes decided to get down from her chair.  But she slipped and fell on her chest with a mouth full of food.  She cried.  I was no more than six feet away and when I picked her up, I could see rotini in her mouth. 

Suddenly, her face looked contorted, her eyes closed, and she went limp. 

With one swift move and no time to panic, I flipped her over and began thumping her back to try to dislodge the food all while dialing 911.  She coughed and then cried, so I hung up.  When I turned her back over, she went limp again.  I called 911 again, but it got disconnected. I can’t tell you what emotions were running through my head because I was working on adrenaline.  It’s like there’s no room to feel, only time to react knowing that every second counts. 

This is it.  It’s me or nobody… 

Seconds felt like minutes and I realized that I might have to switch to rescue breathing.  We worry about strangers in malls, and flights of stairs, and cars in parking lots and we devote ourselves to keeping our children safe.  Then something simple like eating lunch — a damn noodle — could change our lives.  And then as if I willed her airway free, she finally let out a cry.  And she cried and cried and cried.  “Please keep crying!”  Her cries soothed my nerves and slowed my racing heart.

Then 911 called me. 

I explained the situation — “I’m so sorry!  The baby was choking and passed out, but she’s clearly okay now.”  The medic got on the phone and wanted to know should he send an ambulance.  Then I thought of George out in the driveway — he’d probably wet himself when he saw a firetruck and an ambulance come screaming towards him.  I declined their offer since ‘Cakes was going to be okay.  I was a bit worried because she wouldn’t stop crying.  In desperation I asked, “Do you want to go outside?”  She stopped crying and with her eyes wide she said…

“Slide?” 

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And later that afternoon, we went to Target where I purchased 16 boxes of hair color and stole a prescription of Valium. 

The pony will be delivered later this afternoon.