How To’s with The Football Wife
Everyone loves a tutorial! Think of how many “How To” books are out there. Here are a few I could write myself over the past couple of days.
How To Buy A New Rug
Buy your dog new food at the health food store. Ignore his 5 am request for attention.
How To Be Awake for Three Hours in the Middle of the Night (without even trying!)
Give your toddler two servings of orange juice & a bottle two hours before bedtime. Even Huggies will leak.
How To Sell Your House
Put a sign out in the yard that says, “Free” because the market condition warrants a price drop.
How To Achieve Unconditional Love
Give birth. Little hands give the best hugs.
How To Get Shoe Polish Out of Carpet
Panic. Then grab a magic eraser. Magic erasers fix everything.
How To Have a Clean House
Buy a lottery ticket. Hire a maid.
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February 17th, 2010 at 11:47 am
You crack me up. I think you could totally sell this How-to manual to a publishing company.
And yes, Magic Erasers are the best invention!
February 18th, 2010 at 9:30 am
Hire a maid. lol. I need an au pair that way I can nap/comment on blogs/take a shower/pee alone whenever I want.