Let’s talk about flying. 

First, I highly recommend lift-the-flap books for in-flight entertainment.  And secondly, ask to be reseated when Grumpy Gramps saddles up next to you on the plane.  Yikes!  Babycakes and I had a window seat for our first flight to Philadelphia.  We boarded first and had plenty of time to search for Spot in her new book before other passengers began to file into the plane.  One thing that you should know about my girl is that she believes that all creation was put on this earth for her personal enjoyment.  So, when Grumpy Gramps took his seat next to us she immediately tried to befriend him by tapping his arm gently and peering into his bespectacled face.  No response.  I’ve never known anyone to outwardly ignore a happy, smiling child and I felt uncomfortable to say the least. 

Forty-five minutes into the flight while Babycakes was watching Elmo, Grumpy Gramps suddenly offered me a life-saver.  “Oh, no thank you.”  Then he offered to “the little one”.  So maybe he wasn’t so bad after all.  As the crew prepared for our landing and we all lifted our tray tables, I noticed GG pull a pen from his pocket.  I thought he was going to use it as a bookmark for his John Grisham novel.  He removed the cap from his stick pen and proceeded to use the smallest point of the cap to…

clean out his ears. 

And then…

he wiped it on his shirt. 

(How do you type the sound of barfing?)

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The second leg of the trip was beautiful!  We had the entire back of the airplane to ourselves and five minutes after take-off, I had a sleeping toddler in my arms. 

Before we boarded that plane, I changed the Babe’s diaper and then let her run around the waiting area.  She danced to the music and banged on the windows — pure bliss.  Sniff.  Sniff.  I thought, “Are you kidding me?”  I asked the attendant if I had time to change the baby’s diaper and her response was, “Uhm, no.  We’re boarding, like now.”  SOOOooo… I changed a #2 right there in the terminal in 17 seconds flat and we were last to board the plane. 

While we waited briefly in the brisk Philadelphia air to enter the aircraft, the gentleman in front of us insisted that we go ahead of him where it was warmer.  As we entered the plane, we were greeted by 20 smiling faces & one very excited grandma. 

“Oh, wonderful!  We have a baby on board!”

“Yes, well hopefully she’ll be a tired baby.”

“She’s just so cute!  I bet Santa’s going to bring you lots of toys.  Are you going to have a nice Christmas?  I know you will.  Oh, you’re just so cute!”  She continued, “You know what?  I think she looks like the both of you.”

Confused, I turned around to see the gentleman still standing behind me.  “Ma’am, we’re not together.  He’s not her Daddy.” 

All the passengers burst out in laughter.  Ahh, the joys of flying in a puddle-jumper!  At the end of the flight, as we landed in the smallest airport known to all mankind, all the passengers applauded. 

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Later that night, when it was time for Babycakes & Little E to get ready for bed, we all joined in on the fun.  Both girls hopped on Uncle Joe’s bed and a wild rumpus began!  Of course, it’s all fun and games until someone bumps their head and that was how the pajamas finally made it onto tired little bodies.  While I was slathering Babycakes in Vaseline (for her eczema), Little E came back into the room with a telephone on her ear. 

“Oh, yes, JuJu!  Aunt Sara is right here!  She’s just puttin’ some gasoline on her baby.” 

Oh, there’s no place like home for the holidays!