It won’t be like this for long…

Do you know that Darius Rucker song?  Just hearing the song in my head brings me to tears — big, weepy tears.  I could just die when he sings, “… one day soon that little girl is gonna be all grown up and gone.”  This is precisely why I forgo dusting to read more stories. 

Babycakes turns ONE in 22 days.  My biggest fear is of “forgetting”.  I never want to forget the delicious smell of her hair or the feel of her baby skin.  Or the sound of her baby laughter.  It brings me more joy than I ever could have imagined.  Some people find satisfaction in their careers — I find satisfaction in my daily work of raising a child. 

If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do matters very much.

– Jackie Kennedy

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Last night, I let Babycakes walk around the supermarket pushing a tiny grocery cart.  We loaded it with bananas & other items for dinner.  She tried to slip in her own goods — turkey burgers, a tuna salad kit, & hamburger helper.  I think she’s craving protein.  It was so cute to watch her until we got to the aisle with all the pasta sauce.  She made a mad dash towards the jars of Prego shouting, “BahhhhHH!”  Oh, Lord… clean up, aisle 4.  Parmesan ricotta marinara is not a ball. 

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Babycakes has finally reached the age where she will sit on my lap long enough to read books.  Her favorites are Baby Colors & Jamberry.  I have fond memories of walking to the library with my mom when I was young and selecting books from the children’s room.  Growing up in a small town, the only place to purchase a book was at O.R. Laney’s 5 & 10.  My parents enrolled me in book clubs and soon our shelves were full.  The two books I remember reading the most were Disney’s Cinderella & the Little Golden Book, “Where Did the Baby Go?” 

The little girl sees all the baby equipment and wonders where is the baby?  What she doesn’t realize is that she WAS the baby.  It’s the most depressing book EVER and I made my mother read it to me a thousand times.  Somehow, I thought “maybe this time, there’ll be a baby at the end.”  The closer we get to sweet baby’s first birthday, the more I think of this book. 

I’m sure some of you would tell me to just wait, that the best is yet to come.  And perhaps next year we’ll plan an addition to the Football Family and there can be a little baby again.  But for now, I’m just going to take a moment to cry and count all my blessings and be thankful and weepy all at the same time. 

Where your pleasure is, there is your treasure:  where your treasure there your heart; where your heart, there your happiness.

– Saint Augustine

September 8th, 2009 The FW Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

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