Two-a-Days

I am not athletic.   I don’t like to sweat & I’m not a fan of humidity.  I enjoy watching others be athletic while sipping on diet coke.  Coach loves exerting himself on a hot & humid day — lucky for him because today is the start of “Two-a-Days”.  Practice #6 this morning & practice #7 tonight. 

“Two-a-Day” is not limited to just football.  There are many things that I do twice a day if not thrice a day. 

My favorite “Two-a-Day” in this house is NAPTIME. 

Like I said before, I am not athletic.  It never stopped me from trying as a kid, but I was more of a neighborhood athletics kind of kid.  We played street hockey and backyard soccer where everyone was included.  No sidelines, no bench, no hurt feelings.  The rules weren’t always clear and some rules were amended to suit the situation and sometimes people would quit and take their ball with them, but mostly it was just good fun. 

I did try my hand at organized sports for a few years, but I was never very good.  When I was in the fifth grade, my dad took me to softball tryouts.  The coach asked me to throw the ball to him so I picked it up and tossed it to him underhand.  I’ll never forget the look on my dad’s face as he lowered his shaking head to the ground, hand above his brow.  Everyone made a team and I think they let me play outfield a few times.  As a Bluejay, the best part was being in the dugout because the new girl, Erin, taught us all her favorite camp songs.  Contrary to our coach’s belief, songs about frogs are ABSOLUTELY appropriate for softball games. 

Down by the banks of the hanky panky

Where the bullfrogs jump from banky to banky

With an E-E-I-I-O-O-Um

Down by the riverside… kerplunk!

 A few years later, I decided to tryout for soccer.  I’m really not sure why I did that but the priest of our church was our coach.  Again, I was more of a silly cheerleader.  In high school, I played in an age 18-35 year old indoor soccer league.  Some players had titles like “goalie” or “sweep” – I was the girl who made the mixed tapes and danced in defense land or whatever you call it.  You know, in the back by that white little line.  Our games were always LATE, LATE, LATE at night.  Our official team name was “Motley Crew” but we liked referring to ourselves as “Chuck’s Chicas”.  Chuck thought that made him sound like a pimp. 

There you have it — the uncoordinated football wife.  Can’t do a cartwheel, can’t really throw a ball anymore… 

Wait a minute.  Hold up.  I totally forgot!  Did you know that I can rollerskate backwards?  (And forwards.)  I can generally ride my bike without falling off AND I can iceskate!  I’m a good walker.  I don’t even trip very often.  While I can’t ski, I am really good at sled riding and I am excellent at kickball.  That’s talent, baby.