The going rate for my babysitting services as a kid was $1 an hour per child.  I was lucky if I went home with $7 in my pocket and when I did, I was so excited that I wrote about it in my journal. 

The summer that I turned 13, I had a regular Tuesday/Thursday gig watching two little blondies — Lindsey & Caroline.  They were originally from Alabama and to this day, I still don’t know if their dog’s name was Windy or Wendy.  They were 5 & 2 and I thought nothing of it to put them on bikes and ride to the library.  Can you imagine?  Lindsey on her own bike and Caroline in a baby seat.  And there were no helmets back then.  You have to give my kid-self some credit –  I took children to the library and read to them.  10 hours a day @ $3 per hour.  I was rich. 

I babysat for everyone on the planet. 

I probably babysat YOU — you just don’t remember it. 

The most memorable babysitting experience that I had was the summer before I left home for college.  I babysat for two families — they lived across the street from one another.  Family #1 was two Mommies with two babies — 18 months and 2 months.  Family #2 was barefoot Daddy, lawyer Mommy, & toddler boy and 15 month old sister.  They were all seriously little, all in diapers, super cute, and I loved ‘em all.  On some days, I just had Family #1′s children — G & G.  Two days per week, I had three babies and a toddler boy who once announced, “I’m like a bear.  I only poop in the woods.”  Clearly, I had my hands full.  My sister came on those days to be my assistant and for that she was paid $3 an hour.  I was in a higher tax bracket and made $5 an hour. 

When I was in high school, I shared a ’73 Chevy Caprice Classic with my Dad.  So, on the mornings when I had to babysit, I drove “The Beast” into town.  A memorable moment:  It was a Family #1 day, and J suggested that we switch cars so that I could take the babies to the mall.  Now why she would want a 17 year old driving around with two babies is beyond me, but off we went.  It was nice being at the mall because it was something different to do & it was air-conditioned unlike their house.  But here’s the thing…  the older of the two babies called everyone who was a girl “Mommy”.  I guess these things happen when you have two mommies.  Why not have seven, right?  In the middle of the mall, just outside the Auntie Anne’s Pretzel Stand with teeny infant G in the sling… toddler G started calling me Mommy.  With panic in my voice, I corrected her.  She responded with a tone that made every man waiting on his wife on every bench in the mall look at me… and then hang their heads in shame for the teenage girl with one white baby & one black baby.  And when we returned to the minivan and before I could get the older baby in her carseat, she grabbed the gear shift, yanked it down, and totaled the car. 

Now on the other days of the week, I had the G babies along with E & A.  My sister and I would arrive on the block early in the morning and then gather all the babies at Family #2′s house.  All 1,200 square feet.  We tried our best to keep the kids outside because the inside of their house was worthy of condemnation. 

Really, their house was so bad that when my baby brother had to come along with us, he would not come in the house.  He would sit outside on the steps to eat his lunch -his lunch that he brought from home because he would rather die than eat something from their fridge.  Or their pantry.  I could not blame him. 

One day, with my brother eating his PBJ on the front porch, my sister and I tried to make sense of the food in Family #2′s house.  I found unexpired pasta & tomatoes and knew that we (thank the good Lord) had something to feed the kids (and ourselves).  Teeny G was in the bouncy seat on the kitchen table with the hiccups, the other two babies were playing in the living room while the toddler E was up to no good.  E came to me and said, “My nose feels funny.”  Upon inspection, I noticed that he had shoved a bead up his nose.  While I extracted the bead, my sister thought it necessary to SCARE the hiccups out of the baby and when I turned to stir lunch, the stovetop was on fire. 

Family #2 enjoyed reading and especially enjoyed history.  The mother is a lawyer & the father never wears shoes.  He has two first names:  John & Eddie.  You know all those signs that say “No shirt, no shoes, no service”?  Yup — that pretty much excludes him.  No shirt, no shoes, just overalls.  However, he is one of the smartest people I have ever known.  Period. 

Once, John Eddie and I gathered all the babies together and he took us for a ride out to Sugar Valley.  First, we went to some backwoods butcher shop where I got to taste the yummiest, saltiest, hunk of meat.  Delicious.  If you like to eat heart attacks.  As we pulled out of the parking lot, John Eddie suggested that we try to find the farm where the monks live.  Really?  Are we living in a Batman movie?  Of course not, we’re in rural Pennsylvania…

You know, we found the farm run by Monks.  They were so gracious that they gave us a tour of their property which included a 1700′s farmhouse with authentic furnishings.  John Eddie loved them so much that he returned not long after our initial visit and they taught him how to bake bread over a fire. 

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We have a babysitter tomorrow night.  The second in almost 11 months.  I will try my best to spare her from drama AND save myself from becoming the topic of her future blog posts.