When my four-year-old was searching for a movie to watch at my parents’ house last month, her little heart began to race when she spotted an old VHS tape of The Sandlot. Since then, we have watched this movie no less than a dozen times because… well, because she’s boy crazy & convinced that watching the movie will enhance her baseball skills.
Yesterday, while we were running errands, she casually asked me from the backseat, “So, Mom… do you want to talk about sports or something?” {She was clearly talking to the wrong parent.}
“Sure, Honey,” I replied, “What sport do you have in mind?”
“Baseball. I think I really know how to play. Do you have to wear a helmet when you’re the glover or only when you’re the batter? I’m not sure if you have to wear a helmet all the time like skateboarding or if you can take it off. I’m a little bit afraid that the helmet will get stuck on my head and I’ll have to wear it like forever or something. And then do the girls & boys play on the same team or do the girls try to beat the boys?”
She rarely takes a breath.
Before we went home, we stopped at the world’s most depressing discount retailer {Rose’s} & picked up a wiffle bat & ball. If the girl wants to play baseball, then let’s play baseball. Only one problem… it meant that I was going to have to play baseball because waiting for Daddy to get home feels like an eternity when you’re four.
It was 93 degrees outside when we got home and I couldn’t stand the begging anymore so I suggested that we play baseball in the house. Lizzie & I were on one team and Ellie & Yeah-Yeah {her newest imaginary playmate straight from the movie} were on the other.
“Mom, I’ll just stand here and put my glove out like Smalls, okay? And you be like Benny and get it right in my glove.” And for the next hour we went back & forth between a movie reenactment & learning to play catch.
Now if you’ve ever watched The Sandlot then you may remember that the boys use some choice words that you most definitely don’t want your kids to repeat. Since Ellie doesn’t really know many swear words, she thinks “stupid” is the most offensive thing to come out of the boys’ mouths. And of course, I should know better but talking about baseball for seven hours made me delirious.
“Mom, what’s that line they say in the movie?”
“You’re a pee drinking, crap face?” Oops. Did I really just say that?
“Mom! That’s a bad word. I was just going to say, ‘watch out… I’m gonna throw the heater’.”
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